Most aspects of my outer life are a mess. My house is in disarray, my time is disorganized, my relationships are hit or miss, but mostly miss. I struggle daily with how cluttered my home has become. The amount of toys, paper, shoes, knick knacks, books & dog supplies strewn about my home is overwhelming. I don't know where to start. I lack the motivation to just do something. I have spent over $1000 on professional organization, but didn't come out with a plan. When I am out working, I think about how crazy it is in my home, and I'd rather stay out working. My husband will suggest that we rent a movie, and I will think - and sit in this clutter to watch TV? My daughter, husband and brother almost don't seem to see all that is out of place - unless they step on something, or can't find something. My daughter was watching one of those hoarder shows, and she turned to me and exclaimed, "Our house isn't like that! You always say we live in a hoarder house, but it isn't like that!" To me it is like that. I grew up in a very neat home. My mother would put our school books in the trash if we left them on the dining room table. We kept all our possessions in our rooms, and every once in awhile we had to clean up our rooms or lose privileges. I don't remember feeling stressed as a kid - it was comfortable for me to have everything in its place. Even today, my parents' home always looks ready for a real estate showing. Occasionally I hire someone to clean our house. My family complains they can't find anything then, but when I walk in after the cleaning; I feel calm and relaxed. The clutter is chaos to me, and I need order to settle my mind, and be comfortable in my skin.
